| - Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape - Dear Mr. Journal,
I’m at a hiatus in my life… I suppose you can describe this as the eye of the hurricane. I know this is isn’t the best way to start off my xanga, but you’ve caught me at a very perplexed instant.
Numerous factors all built up to this moment, but what ignited this post was her xanga. Those that are my friends already know how I’ve been attached to her almost twenty-four-seven. However, it appears that the moments of glee have come to their closing stages. Lately we’ve been having many arguments about all sorts of things; it’s become quite repetitive. It would be wrong of anyone were to say who is at fault for the arguments. She feels that I don’t care for her anymore and I feel that I’m being cornered. I feel that I’ve been giving in too easily and putting up with too much. She probably feels she’s put up with me too much also. The thing is there is no trust in the relationship. Every move I make is followed by her eyes, and then her mind conjures up negative instances that never even happen. These are just a few of the obstacles that we tend bicker over. Perhaps it’s because we can’t comprehend how our actions affect one another, and because we are too prideful, we don’t bother trying to understand.
A part of me is tremendously sad that this could be the end because of all the good memories and pictures I have of us. Never have I cared so much about one girl. The funny thing is I didn’t expect God to send me a gift. She just popped into my life and we hit if off from there. I think partially what disbanded our love was all the mistakes we made together. It’s sad enough that we end up hurting each other, and it’s even worse knowing that it will happen again, at least once a week.
A different part of me is a bit relieved. It feels as if a big burden is being lifted off of me, and that I’ve found a new form of escape. That is one thing of this world I treasure the most… escape. Escape from the world. Maybe I’ll actually be able to have friends without having to worry about hurting anyone’s feelings. Maybe I’ll be able to explore and grow as a person and create goals that may sound extremely stupid but fulfills my enjoyment.
We need to sit down and talk. I just don't know. I guess I just have to pray…
Good times... hope this isn't it. | 
